How Far Would You Go To Keep Your Man?

Men are hard to find, a good man…even harder. At least that’s what we women have been made to believe over the years. As soon as you find that man who ticks most or all of your boxes, you got to keep that dude on lock down or risk him being snatched from under your finely manicured finger nails. Plus we women pour out a lot into our significant others, we build them up when the world try’s to take them apart, we make sure we create enough stability at home so they have the confidence to stand tall among their peers and we try our hardest to help him dust off those bad habits. Eventually, we turn him into the man of our dreams, or at least we try to. Therefore you can imagine that the thought of another women walking away with our trophy man, after we’ve spent years painstakingly building him up, is a bit too much for most women to bear.

Perhaps, this is what US First Lady, Michelle Obama was thinking recently. In April, the National Enquirer alleged in that Mrs Obama had banned both actresses Scarlett Johansson and Kerry Washington from the White House because they were ‘too flirty’ with the President. The tabloid also suggested that the First Lady has a ‘watch list’ of women that were to be kept away from her 50-year-old tall, dark and handsome husband.

Naturally, the White House has dismissed these claims as ‘completely false’ but can you blame her if it was true? Who would want to go down in the history books as being the first African American 1^st Lady to have a Monica Lewinsky episode…or to have her husband stolen from her right there in the White House….err no thank you!

Mrs Obama and the validity of these rumors, aside, I’ve heard of many women who have gone to great lengths to keep women away from their husbands. Different strategies, from threatening suspected women to even having them beat up. I remember a while ago a friend of mine got slapped at a party by her colleague’s wife. The wife, who was 5months pregnant, at the time, had seen a picture of my friend hugging her husband and feared the worst. Her plan had been to threaten my friend with some harsh words but things turned ugly when my friend tried to walk away, Madame pulled her back by her hair and gave her a good smack across the face. Off course, it was left to me and a few other friends to tear both women apart, as the man in contention had suddenly disappeared.

Although I can’t completely vouch for my friend, I do wonder if the wife’s slapping actions were entirely appropriate. Many have argued that if a man wants to stay with you, he will. If he doesn’t, it doesn’t matter how many women you slap, threaten or beat up, he’ll still get up one day and not come back. Plus, if any woman feels the need to ban, beat or provide any kind of embargo within her relationship, perhaps that suggests that there might be other issues she needs to deal with first? Or am I approaching this from the wrong angle? Do men need protecting? Do we as their girlfriends/wives have the responsibility to protect them from other women? If that’s the case, how far will you go to keep your man?

Let’s share!

source; bellanaija

Daddy! Take It Or Leave It, He’s The One I’m Going To Marry

Under Nigerian customary law, a marriage is deemed valid when a bride price has been paid or gifts in lieu of cash are exchanged. However, this is only after parental consent has been obtained. It is said that a valid Nigerian marriage is a fusion/morphing of not just two people who want so spend their lives together, but instead two families brought together by the intent of two people. So essentially to a large extent parental consent is very important. However, we find sometimes that some parents just say “NO” and when you ask them what they have against the union they cannot answer you with conviction.

I understand where parents withhold consent based on religious or cultural differences (not that I agree with them) but I understand where they are probably coming from. They probably are basing their decisions on factors that are real to them or experiences they have lived through.  However, what I don’t understand is where the parent says stuff like “I just don’t like him. He has shifty eyes and you can’t marry him”

My friend Rakiya shared an experience with me recently on how her father said she couldn’t marry her boyfriend Victor in 2007 because he was too light skinned and people with overly light skin tend to be promiscuous. It was ludicrous. She assumed it was a joke until her mother told her in confidence that Daddy was serious about it and he even said he did not want to see Victor in their house.  Rakiya had dated Victor through her university days and he had been the complete gentleman and he made her happy. Victor was the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, he was the one who made her eyes brighten up with laughter.She was more hurt than angry at her father because he was being completely unreasonable.  He didn’t have the ‘usual’ complaints of  ”he’s not a moslem”, “he’s Igbo”/”no he’s not Igbo he’s from Sabongida Ora in Edo state”/ “he’s still Igbo! Anywhere after Ore is ‘Igbo’”.
But Rakiya’s dad’s problem with Victor went beyond the basic ‘home-video’ issues… He simply did not like him and for a generally soft spoken man, he was adamant on this Victor issue.

It made me wonder about the issue of the importance of parental consent with regards relationships and marriages. What exactly is the test of reasonableness for the withholding of consent. If you feel your parents are being unreasonable will you go ahead and marry the man of your dreams or do as your parents say and break off the relationship?

SOURCE; BELLANAIJA

IS MULTI-DATING A GOOD IDEA?

I think the biggest reason for multi dating is perspective. When you are dating one partner your judgment seems to more clouded as opposed to when you are seeing several people and are blessed with the chance to remain objective by reason of the gift of comparison. You also see members of the opposite sex for who they really are instead of idealizing them and ignoring their faults.

Another pro of multi dating is the higher chance for success as dating just one partner is an all-or- nothing situation. Dating many people increases your chances of one of them working out. If you were applying to college, you wouldn’t apply to just one would you? You would send application letters to many in order to increase your chances of being admitted to at least one, which you hope turns out to be the best choice for you. See? Same difference

Multi dating spares your feelings as you do not attach yourself to one person in an overly deep manner. If your relationship with one partner begins to turn grim, you have the others to fall back on. Not to mention that multi dating keeps you constructively busy by giving the much needed added color to your social life. You do not want your social life to be defined by just one person do you?

On the other hand, multi dating has its cons;

There is a chance it could blow up in your face, you get a nasty reputation and several people’s feelings get hurt in the process. But isn’t there a saying that ‘love is war’? Why must you be the one to put up with disappointment and being hurt over and over again?

Multi dating is a choice that should not be made if you are looking for a serious relationship. Take it from the attitude that you are basically looking to have some fun and build your ego. Multi dating ends technically when one of your partners becomes your exclusive boyfriend or girlfriend. In other words, it is a fun selection process.

What do you think? Is multi dating a good idea after all?

SOURCE; JAGUDA

SEX TIPS!!! STOP PRETENDING AND READ..

If like a lot of women you are asking yourself why you never experience an orgasm or why sex seems always to be a thumping and pounding experience, then let me share the most amazing techniques to reaching an orgasm with you! You could even do it yourself!

Did you know? There are several different types of orgasms women experience! Amazing isn’t it? A few most common ones include

1. The Clitoral Orgasm:
 This orgasm is the result of clitoral stimulation. Intensely pleasurable feelings start within the clitoris and send waves of pleasure throughout the body. The clitoris is the most sensitive area of the female body, being one of the most nerve rich. If you are a guy, imagine all the nerve endings in the penis poured into an area as small as a pea.

2. The G-Spot Orgasm
This orgasm begins in the G-Spot, and may stay there while climaxing, or it may powerfully explode through the whole body. How does it happen?

During sexual arousal, the tissue surrounding the urethra becomes engorged with blood and the Paraurethral / Skenes glands produce and fill with prostatic fluid. This area on the front wall of the vagina becomes that same mysterious and sensitive spot … the G-Spot.
There are different ways of stimulating the G-Spot. Rhythmic pushing or circular friction movements are the best for achieving this kind of orgasm

3. Squirting Orgasm (Female Ejaculation)
This kind of female orgasm is so profound that it deserves a separate book of its own. It releases negative emotions and fills a woman with light, euphoric energy and a feeling of fulfillment and peace. Squirting makes other kinds of female orgasm look pale in
comparison.

This kind of female orgasm builds a very deep bond between a woman and her partner. This is the most intimate and delightful thing your woman can share with you. Note for single women: if you don’t have a partner or just want to experience this kind of
orgasm on your own, here is the good news … it is perfectly possible !

If you aren’t getting any or all of the orgasms listed here, No worries! You are not alone. There are very easy and simple tricks I’m willing to share with you. You just have to know what to do, where to do it and how to do it right! Want to get started on Having the most Powerful Orgasms as a woman? Or are you a man willing to see his partner explode into unimaginable burst of emotions in Orgasm?

MIND BLOWING ORGASM? YES PLEASE!!

“You know how many times I called him? He didn’t even bother to pick up! Can you imagine that?”

“He probably wasn’t with his phone,” I said to her, getting irritated by her constant babbling and complaints.

“Oh Yes he was!” She retorted. “One time my call went through to ‘waiting’, meaning he was on the phone with someone else.”

I sat still on the bed as I watched her undress. I wondered how such a beautiful gil like Lyza couldn’t have all she wanted in a relationship. Life surely wasn’t fair now was it? I watched her unhook her bra, letting her huge breasts bounce off in front of her as she
took it off. God! She was beautiful! I let my mind roam, to places it shouldn’t. I thought of what it would be like to have her yearn for me as I was beginning to yearn for her too. She took off her thong, standing naked now in front of the full length mirror.

“You know, we had a fight yesterday. Right after sex! All I had said was ‘it would be so nice to have you help me reach an orgasm’. I swear to you that was all I said and it became one hell of a big fight!”

I wondered what sort of man she had ended up with. Who wouldn’t care about satisfying this very beautiful girl’s needs.

“Well, its not entirely his fault that you can’t have an orgasm. Hell, you probably have and didn’t realize it.” I said to her, trying to reassure her. She didn’t respond. Instead she watched herself in the full length mirror, as she stood naked brushing her hair. I let my eyes scan her body. Her ass, a beauty to behold. I felt a rush of blood to my head and down my spine, as I let my need of her overtake me. My pussy acted fast, showing interest as she purred between my thighs.

“Have you ever thought of maybe being with someone else?” I asked

“Oh Michelle, the thought has crossed my mind a thousand times over. I can swear to you my ex made me cum. Or I think he did. There was this one time he had his fingers up my clits, I felt myself vaporize! Sometimes I wish I could sneak out to him just so he could give me head. He’s crazy I swear it!”

I heard a tone of disappointment in her voice. I understood her needs. It is estimated a huge percentage of women would probably never experience real orgasms. Some will and not even realize it. Others would continue to fake it in bed with their partners and end
up the depressed bunch. As I thought about this I pitied her. And even much more now, I wanted to hold her and satisfy her every need like only a fellow woman could.

“You are really beautiful Lyza..” I said to her. She turned to look at me, her big brown eyes so beautiful. She smiled. I loved to see her smile. Without saying a word she walked into the bathroom and began to run the shower. I got up off the bed and went right after her. I found her with her back towards me as she had bent down over to handle the taps.

Look at the ass! I thought to myself. My pussy purred harder.

“Lyza?”
“Hmmm..?”

“Please let me do whatever the fuck my body wants to do to yours..” I said. This definitely didn’t come out right. At least not as I expected. I quickly added “Let me fuck you.”

She turned around to face me.

“Huh?”

“Sshhhh…” I signaled with a finger across my lips. I walked up to her and sat her down on the edge of the tub. She parted her legs, exposing the cleanest pair of pussy lips I had ever seen. My heart skipped a bit. I could see hunger in her eyes. She didn’t even resist
me. She didn’t dare! We wanted this, there wasn’t any use pretending about it.

I knelt down in front of her, going low enough to bury my head in her thighs as I began to lick her juices up. She moaned, grabbing a handful of my hair and pulling me even deeper into her wells. She tasted so good. I loved it. I wanted her to love it even more. ”Oh fuck Michelle…” She yelped, pulling my hair even tighter.

The shower continued to run just behind her, her back collecting spatter of water. She clasped her legs behind me, every thug a sign of how much she loved it. I pushed one finger deep inside her, my tongue still working her wet pussy. She called my name, groaning and moaning all at once. I was determined to make this good for her. I was going to explore her totally till I got her to explode. And this was just the beginning of it all.

CHECK IN SOON FOR PART 2 ON MIND BLOWING ORGASM..

I QUIT?

QUITTING 2 SOON HAS MADE MANY PEOPLE FAILURES. IMPATIENCE HAS COST PEOPLE THEIR LIVES AND LED MANY TO LIVE A LIFE OF 'HAD I KNOW'. ACCORDING TO BILL NEWMAN, IF YOU ARE TRAVELING THE ROAD TO SUCCESS AND ENCOUNTER DIFFICULT DONT CHANGE YOUR DECISION AND GO BACK BUT CHANGE YOUR DIRECTION TO GET THERE. THE ONLY WAY WE CAN LOSE IS TO QUIT. THAT'S WHY QUITTERS NEVER WIN AND WINNERS NEVER QUIT. YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE UNTIL YOU ACCEPT DEFEAT AS FINAL,THE MOST UNREALISTIC SCORE AT HALF TIME. WHEN OKOCHA LOST THAT PENALTY KICK IN THAT FOOTBALL MATCH AT ATLANTA 1996 OLYMPIC FINAL,SO MANY NIGERIANS TURNED OFF THEIR TELEVISION SETS. BUT IF KANU NWANKWO HAD LEFT THE FIELD OUT OF ANGER AND FRUSTRATION THEN THE MATCH WOULD HAVE BEEN COMPLETELY LOST. THE POINT I AM MAKING HERE,IS THAT IN ALL YOU DO,ALWAYS PERSIST BECAUSE SUCCESS IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER. REMEMBER YOUR GREATEST MISTAKES WILL HAPPEN BECAUSE OF YOUR IMPATIENCE. AND REMEMBER ALL IS POSSIBLE TO THOSE WHO MENTALLY CREATE THEIR IDEAS AND WHOSE CONSCIOUSNESS IS IMBUED, ONLY ONE THING YOU CAN NOT RECYCLE IS A WASTED TIME,LOST TIME IS NEVER FOUND..........

SHE MAY NOT EXIST; SO GET REAL AND FIND A REAL WOMAN

DATING THE PERFECT LADY
SHE MAY NOT EXIST; SO GET REAL AND FIND A REAL WOMAN..........

I want to warn you about falling into the trap of forming an image in your mind of the perfect woman for you.
for example,you're only attracted to tall blondes with long hair,blue eyes, and a perfect body. Your mind and eyes are closed to all other women who don't fit your 'perfect mate' image. you block them out.
This is really sad if you adopt this philosophy of only being attracted to certain type of women,you will bypass so many opportunities to meet single women that could be just perfect for you.
First of all,it's not fair to judge a person on how they look on the outside. Their inner beauty is what counts. Tell me,is it worth it having a girlfriend with looks that could kill and be a BITCH FROM HELL on the inside.
While we are on the subject of looks,don't fall into the trap of of only limiting yourself to dating only beautifull single women.
Trust me,women that seems to be average-looking when first meeting them can become beautiful to you once you get to know them. What they don't have in looks they make up wit their good personality, warm heart,ability to please you,enthusiasm for life,willingness to do anything to please you...
From my experience of dating alot of model types,i can tell you that alot of them were self-centered,obsessed with their looks,used to getting their ways,and spoiled rotten. And they were very high maintenance like expensive cars. they were used to dinning fancy resturants,having men buy them expensive gifts.
IN other words,they had to be constantly wined and dined to make good impression on them. Dating an extremely beautiful woman can turn out to not be all that great. But you still can get lucky sometimes and meet a lovely woman who is beautiful on the outside cum the inside.

SEX!! THE INEXPERIENCED

SEX!!! It’s great, fun, pleasurable and exciting when enjoying the action. Inasmuch as most people, if not all, Love SEX, there are quite a handful of people who are inexperienced.

Sex is an important aspect of a relationship and I would love to know that one of my best qualities as a partner or spouse is that I sexually satisfy my person and I am willing to learn and do things to SATISFY/EXCITE this person as long as weirdness is not involved (such as threesomes, sex parties, or sex with other couples, weird oyibo pple stuffs)

However, what if one is honest and open about his/her sexual exposure and experience, would that affect the decision made/taken to continue or move on, and fast for that matter

Not everyone is comfortable with promiscuity, having many sexual partners (whether simultaneously or at different times), friends with benefits, casual sex or hooking up randomly all of which may ultimately lead to sexual inexperience; however, when we meet that person we like or are comfortable enough with to want to make love to, its equally important to give satisfaction as it is to be satisfied.

The issue is that maybe being open about one’s sexual inexperience or exposure may make the other person not understanding or patient enough, not even after you’ve expressed desire to learn to give satisfaction and work it good in return

I think if someone claims to like/love me, you should be a little patient and understanding if inexperience is an issue especially if your partner is willing to be open, relaxed and explorative, so that all that’s left is room to get a hang of it and learn it real good.

What do you all think?

SOURCE..JAGUDA

Top 5 ways to conncect with her

Being able to quickly establish a deep bond with a woman is an ability that most guys lack. Often guys speak in a logical manner, not listening to the woman and turning every conversation back to their one and only talking point: themselves! This makes it hard to make proper connections and the woman does not feel as though she has had a great conversation.
Here is what you need to do to overcome this:

1. Relate things to them, not just to you or your life:

When somebody tells you that they have just had an interesting experience, like going to Thailand for example, it is a common mistake to instantly relate it back to yourself with your personal experiences of Thailand. Instead, try to imagine their experience, bringing out their memories and showing an interest in their unforgettable holiday. Don't immediately make yourself the subject of the conversation, first connect for a while allowing the woman to elaborate on her experience and then it is fine to relate it to yourself.

2. Use what they give you:

When someone is talking to you they usually give you information about themselves: their feelings and their lives. These are perfect opportunities for foundations of connections. Often people ignore these and talk about themselves; instead, grasp every opportunity and connect on each point before moving on to the next.

3. Be Observant:

Women have usually put a lot of effort into their appearance and often, to their dismay, this goes unnoticed. By picking up on something interesting in the way they're dressed or a particular aspect of their outfit (their bag might match their shoes, belt, earrings and dress), they will be impressed with how observant you are and be glad that their effort hasn't been overlooked. You can pick up on general aspects of their appearance or comment on jewelery and accessories which often have meaning or a story behind them.

4. Be empathetic:

When someone has an interest, passion or particularly strong opinion on a subject, there are three main ways of connecting to it. The first is to simply say "me too" that shows you have common interests, the second is to disagree (but be sure to back up your views). The third and most effective response is to show that you can understand her passion, interest or view - even if you don't share it. For example, if someone likes cooking you can show that you understand why she might enjoy it without actually sharing her passion.

5. Talk about things that evoke feeling:

Find something that they are passionate about - it could be anything from friends and family, to travel or even ballet. Connect with them on these subjects by showing that you understand why they have that particular passion. Don't simply gloss over them by saying "me too" and instantly changing the subject. Try to keep the conversation going and lead on to ask about her other interests.
Use these steps during conversation and you will quickly form a connection within hours, as opposed to weeks.

Ass or Cat~ Now That’s A Really Big Cock! [Part 2]

I walked out into the cold night air, hugging my lean body to keep warm as I headed to my car. I had barely touched the door as I reached for it when I felt a fast strong hand grab mine. I shrieked in fear, trembling on all sides. “Shhhh sshhh..” He whispered in my ears. I could smell the liquor on his breathe. I turned around to look at him. The devil! He hadn’t even waited a minute, following me out of the lounge like that. “I said you should call!” I yelled into his fuggy face. He pushed me back, letting my back rest against my car, obviously not interested in talking. Possessive huh? Uuuuuhhhhh I loved it. He began to fondle carelessly with my skirt, as he struggled to get it up above my ass. My 6inch stillettos made me feel graciously taller, I thought to myself as I parted my naked long legs for him. He got down on his knees, sinking them in the hard gravel as he proceeded to bury his head in my thighs. I must have got him real good eh? This brut just left his female companion, most probably the wife, in the lounge to come out here, a close enough distance to where she was, just to get in my Puss. The thought made it the more exciting. I moaned in delight as I felt him eat me up. I raised one neatly waxed leg up above his shoulders, giving him even more room to feed on me. I heard his belt buckle come loose as he had begun to fiddle with it with one hand, his other hand exploring my Clit simultaneously with his tongue. Now! Now! I thought to myself, getting ready for his deep dive into my Pussy, every piece of me needing him even more. ”Oooooohhhhh…. Hmmmmm!” I moaned, his tongue playing tricks, my pussy flooding my thighs with juices. He licked me up, taking his tongue all the way into my asshole and back to my cunt. Damn! It felt so good. I sought support on my car, my back grinding with every move of his tongue. Then like flashlight, he spun me around, my back to him now, my big round ass on his face. He buried his face in my buttocks, his tongue searching frantically for my asshole. I made my ass clap on his face, he groaned in delight loving how it bounced up and down. He licked me, wet. Very wet. I wanted him. I wanted him to fuck me so good till I came a thousand times over. He got up behind me, the gravel shifting under his shoes as he struggled to find his balance. I felt his dick, big. Strong. I reached one hand behind me as I grabbed it to feel it in my hand. Jeezmochris! This brut was Huge! I gasped for air, realizing my fuck luck. Then I felt him plunge deep into my wet pussy from behind me. He roared as he hit my endings hard inside me. Damn it! He was so good. Back and forth he went, plunging even deeper with every push of his big cock. My legs parted even more, my ass a jiggling shameless mess behind me as I rocked with him, resting my breasts on my car. I felt him hold on to my ass, pushing back and forth as he drove in and out of me. Then I heard him groan so loud, a sound that could only be possible if he was cuming. Huh?? What?? He was cuming?! Alreaddddyyyy??? In an instant he pushed out of me, spraying cum onto my tires, his groans ringing in my ears. What was it? Like 45seconds? Damn this fool! SOURCE; JAGUDA

The Truth About Compatibility

Love. Freud, for once, got it right. It's a cornerstone of our humanity; only love protects us enough to grow and change. And increasingly, it's the lone element absent from our otherwise fortunate lives. Living in a society that satisfies material wants we didn't even know we had throws into glaringly high relief our need to find acceptance and meaning through deep human contact. Love remains something we all long for, at least on the receiving end, but that we also seem to have so much trouble finding, or recognizing—or holding onto. And sometimes, letting go of. Love's coming, or sad going, is not only the biggest drama of our private lives; it's on center stage of our public ones too. It is, for example, a guaranteed political flash point: Exactly whose love is entitled to receive civic or religious recognition? And who picks up the pieces when it ends? Lawyers may dine out on love gone awry, but public policy is often left to grapple with the mess of disaffected children and poverty it leaves in its wake. Still, anyone who has come within waltzing distance of it, read Jane Austen or Danielle Steele, or listened to Frank Sinatra or Celine Dion, knows there's no elixir like love. Our search is not likely to end any time soon. Of course, we want someone to share our laughter, be a best friend as well as a lover, someone who'll not only listen to our doubts and celebrate our triumphs but also jump in the car for impromptu getaways. We want to be one half of a couple whose personal characteristics so closely mesh that we'll remain oriented to one another in a hyperstimulating world. Such assurance resides only in compatibility, that critical stew of traits that matter—if only we could figure out which traits they are. We talked to a variety of experts who could be expected to provide insight into these key qualities. From family researchers to matchmakers, each has watched countless couples draw together and pull apart. And each suggested the same thing: We're looking at love all wrong. Compatibility does not hinge on some personal inventory of traits. Compatibility isn't something you have. It's something you make. It's a process, one that you negotiate as you go along. Again and again. It's a disposition, an attitude, a willingness to work. And while we're redefining compatibility, let's banish its more combustible cousin, "chemistry," that black box of a term too often invoked to denote the magic ingredient of a good relationship. Chemistry is an alluring concept, but much too frequently people use it to absolve themselves of the need to consciously examine their approach to one another. As if the muse of love will alight on their shoulder and sprinkle fairy dust on them, and then they will suddenly open their eyes and behold The Perfect Mate—without prying open their own heart, embracing an unwavering willingness to see the other in a positive light or doing the hard work of exploring, knowing and respecting another human being. Love operates on many levels. It involves a dauntingly complex interplay of biology and behavior. But it operates best when we add a certain spirit, when we consciously shape our relationships through an attitude of goodwill. Here, experts weigh in: Compatibility is overrated. The similarities or personality traits that attract people to each other may not hold up over time. You might be attracted to someone because you both love to ski, but then one of you blows out a knee. When people are divorcing, they'll say, "We have nothing in common." But they have kids, a house and 30 years of shared experience. Values about money and children run very deep and are important. The surface ones—antiques, sports, travel and gourmet coffee—don't matter. —William J. Doherty, professor and marriage and family therapy program director, University of Minnesota Sensitivity to the issue of compatibility may be in and of itself a sign of trouble. My research shows that there is no difference in the objective level of compatibility between those couples who are unhappy and those who are happy. But the unhappy ones think compatibility is important to a good marriage—but don't think they have it. When people say, "We're incompatible," that usually means, "We don't get along very well." People overemphasize the effect of personality or values. And they underemphasize the extent to which easy, congenial temperaments aid marriages. —Ted Huston, psychology professor, University of Texas, who runs the PAIR project, a longitudinal study of married couples People assume compatibility as a baseline requirement, then want more. "I want him to fit in with my family and do all the things I love to do—and he should be sexy, and he should take me out to cool places." I think you can have an even more fulfilling relationship if you respect each other's worlds, and learn a little bit from each other. I always think of the phrase, "You've met your match." You really do want someone who challenges and spars with you. —Nancy Slotnick, dating coach, founder of cablight.com SOURCE; ABOUT

SEX? THREESOME...WOULD YOU SUGGEST IT?

The rain poured down heavily, my hands trembling on the wheel as I drove back home. It was a really dark night, the only lights in sight were my headlights and the constant flashes of Lightning. I cautiously checked to see the time on the dashboard clock. 11:15pm. I sighed heavily, tired from the stress of the entire day and most probably the one I was to face on getting home. My fiancé Raymond was staying the night again and I was so certain it was going to be a bad night for us both. You see Raymond and I have been on a roller coaster ride of a relationship for almost 3years now, and as the days continued to roll by slowly, I was more sure of how distant our relationship was beginning to feel. I let thoughts of him flood my mind for what seemed like the better part of the rest of my drive home. 11:30pm. I parked the car in the garage and ran up the porch in the rain, hating the feel of it on my new weaves. I cursed under my breath. Surprisingly Raymond wasn’t in the living room waiting as I expected, which was what he usually did on nights like this. Sometimes, with dinner already prepared. He must have slept off, I thought to myself but that thought soon changed as I heard shuffling from the room upstairs. I cursed. Now I wished to God he had certainly been sleeping. I walked up the one flight of stairs to the room, dreading any possible confrontation. As I got to the door, I could have sworn I heard a female voice. And then as if to confirm my suspicion, the female voice shrieked loudly. Without thinking I slammed into to door with my shoulder bursting it open. Sheila. It was Sheila. I had met her just twice. The first time at Raymond’s office for one of their many Dinners. The next time she just happened to have appeared out of nowhere while we where shopping at the mall. Now as I stood there in the doorway of my bedroom, my fiance in my bed with this Sheila, if that’s really here name, eating my cookies and whipped cream and drinking my Champagne from my glasses… I lost it immediately.“What in the hell!” I scrowled. And then like reflex I heard the resounding blare of my own voice saying “What the fuck do you think you are doing Ray?” He got off the bed and said “Oh darling you are home!” Without a care in the world, he strolled towards me and reached to hug me. I pushed him back, my eyes fixed on him in a fiery rage. “Oh no no Babe, its not what you think..” He said with a little chuckle. “You see Sheila here is…” “Oh Shut up Ray! How dare you?!” I yelled at him, cutting him off. And then as if just realizing she was still there, I turned to face her, “Please get off my bed Miss. Get the fuck off my bed right now.!” “Retta you are acting rather irrationally don’t you think? You are ruining a good surprise.” Ray began to say. I couldn’t believe my ears. I wanted to hit him across the face so hard and stone the engagement ring I had on my finger down his throat. I breathed heavily, letting the anger sink in a little. “Babe, Sheila is here to help us.” I could barely believe my ears, but I let him continue. I mean, I didn’t walk in on them fucking or boning it out or anything..so I could at least listen right? “You know we’ve been having this thing Retta, You and I, its like we need a spin. You know? Retta are you listening to me?” I took my eyes off my rumpled sheets and faced him again. “Yes I am Ray, just get to the point..” “Babe, I thought it would be a good idea to spice things up a bit. You know, get our jiggy back. We’ve been so off for a while and all these fighting…” “What the fuck are you saying Raymond?” From the corner of my eyes I noticed Sheila trying to duck out of the room. “And where do you think you are going?” I snapped at her. “If you don’t mind, this is between the both of you,” she said, picking her purse off the floor as she walked out. “Retta you need to calm down”, Raymond said to me, resting his palms on my lean shoulders. I swept them off with my hands as quickly as I felt them.“Don’t touch me!“ “Ok that’s it! Ve had enough of you irritable manners. Here I was trying to help us and you are pissing off an attitude.” “Would you explain to me how the fuck having a cozy snack time in my bed with that bitch is any help to us Raymond? Ahnnn?” “We were waiting for you. I read somewhere that what we are dealing with now was normal with couples and we only needed to try new things. And this was the only new thing mentioned that we hadn’t tried all this time.” He said in a rush I blinked in absolute surprise. I wanted to lash out at him but I restrained myself, breathing heavily, my hands holding my head as I immediately began to feel like it was going to fall off my neck. “Baby, Sheila came by cause I begged her to. So we could have a Threesome. Can you imagine how nice that girl is! She came to help us with our relationship and you just treated her like trash.” I have no idea what got into me, but as soon as I heard those words, every piece of my body crashed and molded into cold steel. In a flash without even thinking, I slapped him hard across the face. “You must be insane! How dare you Ray! How dare you?!” He just stood there, in a daze. “Please get the fuck out of my house,” I began to say as I wrestled the ring off my finger. I threw it back at him, it flew out too fast for him to catch. I heard it hit the tiled floor hard. “I’m done with this shit! Threesome? And you didn’t think we could have at least talked about it? Or decided on someone together? What do you think I am really? All these years together and you still have the guts to treat me like a fucking bitch!” He didn’t say a word back, just stood there looking at me with that stupid look in his face. That made me even more angry. Or is there something I am missing? Shouldn’t we have talked about this before he decided to bring in some damn bitch to my house and suggest a threesome? Shouldn’t we as a couple, have had a conversation about this and probably pick someone together? Is it Just me or was this his way of letting me know he wanted to Fuck the damn Sheila so bad or was he even fucking her already?!.....SOURCE;JAGUDA We’d like to hear your views on Threesome sex in a Relationship. Have you had any experience? What do you think? Would you condone it? Do you think it is helpful in anyway? Lets have serious discussions, please post comments below.

why she dumped you?

•What You Need To Know •One major reason why she falls out of love is boredom. •Do what you think is enough to keep her happy -- and then do some more. •You don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you. “I don't love you anymore.” It's one of the worst sentences a guy can hear, especially when it comes out of the blue in the midst of what you thought was a good relationship. You don't have screaming or horrible fights. There's no abuse of any kind. You thought things were moving along nicely and suddenly she hits you with the revelation that she's not that into you anymore. Why would this happen? How is it possible that she falls out of love with you? Is there something you could have done to prevent it? She falls out of love because she's bored One major reason why she falls out of love is boredom. When you're in a long-term, committed relationship, it's easy to start taking things for granted and slipping into a routine that is comfortable and boring. Especially if you live together, your daily interactions have probably taken on quite a bit of predictability. You wake up together, go off to work, maybe talk or text a couple times throughout the day, and then meet back at home for supper and spend the rest of the night watching TV together. This repetition can be reassuring; it's nice to know that you'll always be able to come home to each other. However, it can get tedious after a while and make your girl wish for the exhilarating early days of your relationship. To combat boredom in your relationship, throw in a little spontaneity every once in a while. For example, when she comes home expecting to make supper and sit in front of the TV, tell her you've made reservations and you're going out. Surprise her with a trip out of town on the weekend. Most importantly, initiate sex at unexpected times to keep her on her toes. She falls out of love because you neglected her You may think that you're doing enough to make your girlfriend feel appreciated and loved, but unfortunately she may be feeling differently. Somehow, as girls are growing up, they pick up the incredibly annoying habit of pouting instead of talking when something is bothering them. You should just know that she's not getting what she wants without her having to tell you. Yes, it's infantile and unproductive, but she puts up with plenty of your unappealing idiosyncrasies too. Do what you think is enough to keep her happy -- and then do some more. She falls out of love because she met someone else Sometimes, it's hard to pinpoint exactly what makes a girl fall out of love with her boyfriend, but in the case of 'The Other Man' the reason is clear. Most of the time, a woman who is happy in her relationship won't go out looking for another guy, but love happens in the most unexpected of places. Maybe it's an affair with a coworker or a reunion with an old flame. It is never an easy thing to deal with when your partner falls for someone else and the chance of a solution that doesn't hurt anyone's feelings is virtually nonexistent. If she's truly over you and on to the new guy, you may have to suck it up and let her go. If, however, you feel like there's still enough between you and your girlfriend to try to work on things, you have to either ban the other guy from your lives or work on some kind of open relationship arrangement. She falls out of love because you grew apart We all change as time goes by. Sometimes the person you got together with becomes someone you don't recognize after a few years. It's possible that the reason she's falling out of love is simply that her needs, priorities and goals are different than they were when you started dating. Or, perhaps you're the one who's changed. Have you lost motivation and become complacent? Have you developed some anger issues? Negative personality traits like these, which grow over time, can serve to alter your girlfriend's feelings for you. If you're the one who needs to shape up, ask her what she sees as the problem and talk it out with her. You might be able to work on things yourself to get your drive back or deal with your temper. In extreme cases, you should consider talking to a therapist who can help you process these feelings. If she's the one that's changed and doesn't feel like you fit with her anymore, you may have to watch her walk away. Just remember that you don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you anyway. what goes up... Occasionally, relationships just end for no particular reason. The love just isn't there anymore. This can be frustrating and confusing, since there's no obvious cause for the two of you drifting apart. You may not be fighting constantly, but if one or both of you are not happy, you have to put in the effort to fix things -- or walk away.

CONTROLLING ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP

Overview If you are in an abusive relationship, you should consider getting out of it immediately. Abuse is not acceptable in any relationship, and both physical and mental abuse can lead to violence and result in someone getting hurt or killed. If you and your partner are seeking therapy or you feel you want to save your relationship, you can try to control the abusive behaviour and events by your actions. Step 1 Disregard verbal attacks. If your partner comes after you with verbal threats, try to ignore him or her and just walk away. If they confront you face to face, refuse to offer a rebuttal with negative talk. Let them know you are not going to contribute to fighting behaviour. Your partner may initiate a barrier around you to prevent you from leaving by threatening to take money away or hurt your children, explains the Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness. Fighting back and forth prolongs the fighting and can escalate into a serious situation quickly, but avoiding confrontation gives you control of the situation. Step 2 Avoid adding fuel to the fire. Never start a verbal argument with someone who has a history of violence or abuse. If you have an issue, try talking about it in a relaxed and calm tone of voice. The Helpguide website states that you may feel mistreated and may avoid certain topics or feel you can't do anything right when you are in an abusive relationship. You can control the relationship by taking responsibility for your own behavior and being the better person by not fighting with your partner. Step 3 Walk away from an abusive situation. This can be difficult to do, but it will remove you from the argument or pending argument. If you sense tension growing, it may be best to just walk away from home. Abusers want you to feel powerless and helpless; it gives them control, states the Recovery-Man website. Stepping away from the situation gives you control over the abuse and how you are treated. Step 4 Try counseling. If you are both willing to work on your relationship, but one of you still has a problem with abuse, suggest counseling. This will be beneficial to your relationship and your mental health. This will allow your partner to learn positive techniques to deal with stress rather than targeting you with put-downs or physical abuse. Step 5 Call for help. Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline for resources in your area. They will help you locate a shelter and put you in touch with counselors and social workers who can offer counseling and assistance in an emergency situation. If a situation gets out of hand, and you feel that your life is in immediate danger, you need to call police immediately. Tips and Warnings • Tell friends and family members about your abusive relationship. This will create awareness, and they can help if you need to escape a dangerous situation. Set up a safety plan that includes having credit cards, cash on hand, clothes and extra sets of keys in a bag that is packed and ready to go. • Substance abuse can lead to arguments getting out of control. Be cautious when confronting a partner who is intoxicated; this could trigger a fight.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT

There haven't been a lot of studies performed about the love at first sight phenomena, but countless books have been written on the subject, and I oftentimes feel surrounded by couples who feel their unions were decided upon exceptionally early into their relationships. eHarmony commercials tout married folks who openly state they "just knew" when they met that they'd get married, Arielle Ford's The Soulmate Secret pretty much relies on the concept to sell its premise, and one of my siblings recently celebrated her eighth year anniversary with the man she married three months after their first date. As for me? I'd like to think that love at first sight is possible. There is an innate romanticism attached to the thought of meeting someone and having them hitting enough emotional triggers immediately to just know. Now, Have I ever had it happen? Not the love bit, but I've met three folks over a span of twenty years where I just knew they'd be a huge part of my evolution as a person; I just wasn't sure how initially. One became a great friend, another a very emotionally charged but short lived relationship (although we still stay in touch), and one recent, and still playing out. Not one have told I love them, although admittedly love all three very much. And thus, in my head, no love at first sight for me. A strong hunch, and a driving need to get to know someone better? Definitely. But what about you? Do you believe in love at first sight? Why or why not?